Goodbye

[Laura]

God forbid we're honest w/ other members instead of 100% supportive. From a few recent incidents that have happened here, it seems there should be a manual of pre-approved responses, i.e. "I'm sorry," "Good luck," "That's great," etc.

I was pretty much told in a post - and seen others blatantly told - that since this is a message board, we must be nothing but supportive in our responses. I'm sorry, but I can't forget everything I've learned "in real life" just because I'm online. I also apologize for having standards for people I associate w/ online.

Believe it or not, there *are* boards out there where intelligent conversations take place & ppl don't blindly support each other's whims or thoughtless posts. Not everyone uses the internet to escape reality. When an educated light needs to be shed on certain issues on *those* boards, members aren't treated like monsters when they do. From now on, I'll frequent those.

I'm also sick of giving honest responses & getting approving messages via PMs or e-mail. Not all of us think life must be saccharine on a message board, but I guess online popularity is too much of an issue for some to publicly agree.

Of course this explanation doesn't refer to everyone & I've met some incredible people here. It's just that I don't fit the icompact mould.

[Laura]

God forbid we're honest w/ other members instead of 100% supportive. From a few recent incidents that have happened here, it seems there should be a manual of pre-approved responses, i.e. "I'm sorry," "Good luck," "That's great," etc.

I was pretty much told in a post - and seen others blatantly told - that since this is a message board, we must be nothing but supportive in our responses. I'm sorry, but I can't forget everything I've learned "in real life" just because I'm online. I also apologize for having standards for people I associate w/ online.

Believe it or not, there *are* boards out there where intelligent conversations take place & ppl don't blindly support each other's whims or thoughtless posts. Not everyone uses the internet to escape reality. When an educated light needs to be shed on certain issues on *those* boards, members aren't treated like monsters when they do. From now on, I'll frequent those.

I'm also sick of giving honest responses & getting approving messages via PMs or e-mail. Not all of us think life must be saccharine on a message board, but I guess online popularity is too much of an issue for some to publicly agree.

Of course this explanation doesn't refer to everyone & I've met some incredible people here. It's just that I don't fit the icompact mould.

[Dani]

I totally understand what you mean (though I don't know what posts you're speaking of right now), and it can be frustrating. Let me know where you'll be, since I only see you on here these days. http://community.icompact.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

[Suzette]

Laura,

You're gonna stay right here where you belong.

Ignore the troublesome ones.

[LipstickChick]

I totally 2nd what Suzette just told you -- I have no idea what happened this weekend to make you want to leave, but please don't, Laura!

I, for one, appreciate honesty, for better or worse, and would hate to see you leave because you feel you need to "censor" your feelings (for lack of a better way of putting it).

Please ... stay.

[rayray]

I like Icompact cause of the friendly atmosphere and I felt I've made friends here. I belong to many other messageboards and I talk and act in a completely different way than I do here.
A majority of the people here are wonderful decent people but some....well, it's a messageboard and all kinds of people can join.

[Celestial Sky]

If people can't take honest reponses from you then that's THEIR problem. Wether it be self-esteem or personal issues, they have to deal with it themselves.

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Laura:
I'm also sick of giving honest responses & getting approving messages via PMs or e-mail. Not all of us think life must be saccharine on a message board, but I guess online popularity is too much of an issue for some to publicly agree. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>I know EXACTLY what you mean. I've experienced this too.

It's like saying "Hey, I agree with you but don't tell anyone I said it okay. I don't want them to get mad at me." What in the world?? http://community.icompact.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_confused.gif Then it makes you think....are they embarrassed to agree with me??... and then the PM/email just seems like a big insult.

[rayray]

That's women. We're catty like that. It must be embedded in our brains somewhere.

[Peaches715]

Awww please don't go! I like that you are honest, I think people need to hear that sometimes. There have been times I have wanted to say stuff on here, but I dind't because I didn't want anyone mad at me. I don't know excactly which posts you are talking about, but I understand that it's so frustrating

[LaRana]

There is no need for you to leave. As adults we should be able to agree to disagree, or be able to have differing opinions.

If someone makes a post, then they themselves are opening themselves to up to comments. If only we had the ability to censor what people told us in real life.

No one should do any attacking though. It seems hypocritical to attack someone and telling them to be nice or whatever.

Don't worry, I have never fit the "mold" either, but I still like it here.

[Angel Baby]

Please don't go Laura!! I love your posts because you do have the guts to tell it like it is. I don't think there are many people who can actually do that (or at least just me http://community.icompact.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif).


*holds tightly to Laura so she can't run away*

[Jaime]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by LipstickChick:
I totally 2nd what Suzette just told you -- I have no idea what happened this weekend to make you want to leave, but please don't, Laura!

I, for one, appreciate honesty, for better or worse, and would hate to see you leave because you feel you need to "censor" your feelings (for lack of a better way of putting it).

Please ... stay. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

I totally agree. You kow i appreciatte your honesty, and many times ive jumped at the chance to back you up on a post where youve said it like it is. There are way to little members like you, who dont just give out the same old responses just just so that they can respond to another post. It gets very old, and Laura i believe its so refreshing to see your honesty stir things up a bit around here!

[SammiM]

Aw, please don't go over a few people who only want honesty when it's nice. I for one have always loved reading your opinions because they're honest and well thought out. Even if I don't quite agree with everything you've posted I appreciate that unlike some people you take the time to actually get your feelings across.

Some people really need to grow up and realize that not everyone is always going to agree with them and the internet is no exception.

[Suzette]

Seriously, I will launch into a horribly off key rendition of Please Don't Go Girl by New Kids on the Block.


Do you really want to be responsible for that??

[SammiM]

Suzette, I don't know about Laura but I'd like to see thathttp://community.icompact.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

[cinnamongirl]

Please Don't Go Laura.

Giving your honest opininion even when it's against the consensus takes more effort - and it also makes you more vulnerable. Please don't go because you were honest with what you thought/felt.

[Faith]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by cinnamongirl:
Please Don't Go Laura.

Giving your honest opininion even when it's against the consensus takes more effort - and it also makes you more vulnerable. Please don't go because of that. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Agree... Personally I find reading everyone's
opinions on issues interesting, even though I may have a differing opinion. It also helps me to view things from a different perspective.

Just wondering, though (and this isn't meant as anything against you and hope I was understanding your post correctly) but why does it make you upset when board members PM or email you to support you rather than posting it publicly. I see that as a good thing, in the sense that the post doesn't turn into a "taking sides" thing - which in turn becomes an even bigger issue.

[silverchick]

Awww Laura please dont go! You are one of my most favoritist persons here! http://community.icompact.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif LOL k/k. Well you have been really cool with me but then I hope it wasnt me who caused any of this trouble http://community.icompact.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif

Dude, feel free to post whatever the flip you want! who cares?! Like Faith though, I dont understand why PM'ing you bothers you, I see it as a good thing too. I dont think people are embarrassed to agree with you but they probably just dont want their opinion shown because they dont want to get kicked for it either and they're just probably shy about it too, not embarrassed http://community.icompact.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif who knows? http://community.icompact.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif anywho I will be sad to see ya leave so please please stay and dont let people bother you like this http://community.icompact.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

[cutie123]

Laura-I just want to say for the record that I've always appreciated your honest responses. Even if you did have to say something that wasn't as "nice" as people would like, you always did so in a gentle manner. I have never read a post of yours and thought, "Ouch! How cruel!" You have much wisdom, intelligence, and kindness.

If you feel you need to leave the boards, no one can stop you-but we'll sure miss you.

[Deni2001]

Oh no what happened?? It wasn't me was it?? I can't imagine anyone getting upset over an honest opinion. I know I wouldn't, I always appreciate what my friends tell me whether it hurts or not. Please stay.

[gloss_junkie]

I'm sorry that someone has made you feel that you cannot comment in an honest way. I'm actually quite surprised to see this thread, as you are one of the friendliest posters around here!! I agree with Becky, I've never read anything you have posted and thought it cruel or mean. I have always thought that this was one of the friendliest places to post with some of the nicest people around. I hope that you continue to be one of them and stick around!!

[ClareJane]

Laura, you can't leave!!! You just can't! I've no idea which post you were referring to either, but I've seen the type of thing your talking about. How will we know how you are if you leave??? I want to hear about your marriage and children! http://community.icompact.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif
DON'T LEAVE!!! Please!

[sjoprice]

I do hope you decide to stay, Laura, but I understand your frustration at not being able to express yourself with honesty.

[StaceyLS83]

All I can say is please don't go! But I can understand if you do - things have been a little more dramatic than normal on the boards lately.

If you do decide to stop posting, please let me know how to stay in touch with you. We've had some great conversations before and I'd miss knowing how things are in your life.

[Buffalo]

Laura, please don't leave! You gave me your honest opinion that wasn't cruel, and I don't hold it against you. Lately I have been complaining alot about negative events in my life and I am the only one who can make it better for myself.

[Laura]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by silverchick:
Like Faith though, I dont understand why PM'ing you bothers you, I see it as a good thing too. I dont think people are embarrassed to agree with you but they probably just dont want their opinion shown because they dont want to get kicked for it either and they're just probably shy about it too, not embarrassed http://community.icompact.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif who knows? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
So I can look like the bitch while the ones in agreement are just catty?

Like I said, some of you are awesome, but this isn't for me anymore.

[syntheticsole]

"The iCompact Mold"? I don't think we have one. Yes, some of us don't want to be told that we're wrong. But that's just some people. It's not what iCompact is all about. I'm sorry you feel this way, that you have to be nice and supportive all the time. The thing is, on iCompact, we barely ever run into hot topics and disagreeable issues.

Let us all agree to disagree, eh?

Laura, I hope you'll stay. But I wont beg because you should do what you want to do.

[princessalli77]

Same thing happened to me last week on a post.

[Aldera]

I'd hate to see you leave, but I understand if you do. Sometimes we just need to move on...I hope you come back once in a while to say hi, though. We'll miss you here for sure. Take care http://community.icompact.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

[Jaime]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Laura:
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by silverchick:
Like Faith though, I dont understand why PM'ing you bothers you, I see it as a good thing too. I dont think people are embarrassed to agree with you but they probably just dont want their opinion shown because they dont want to get kicked for it either and they're just probably shy about it too, not embarrassed http://community.icompact.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif who knows? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>
So I can look like the bitch while the ones in agreement are just catty?

Like I said, some of you are awesome, but this isn't for me anymore. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

I agree with ya. People love to be honest when they dont have to take the wrath for it. Its way easier to stand behind someone than be the one people stand behind sometimes. I know many times i have stopped beofre i wrote a post because i knew i wouldnt be backed.

[gamine]

I haven't read the thread(s) in question so I can't comment about that, but I just want to say that I am going to miss your posts. I understand your decision and I wish you the best of luck http://community.icompact.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

[luv2dance]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Laura:
I was pretty much told in a post - and seen others blatantly told - that since this is a message board, we must be nothing but supportive in our responses. I'm sorry, but I can't forget everything I've learned "in real life" just because I'm online. I also apologize for having standards for people I associate w/ online. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Laura, I'm sorry whatever happened has caused you to think about leaving. I think if anyone posts their problems, they should expect all kinds of responses. I was researching how to copy protect pictures on the web and found something that said if you don't want it copied or forwarded then don't put it on the internet. The same could be said for conversations. If you don't want to hear anything but agreement then don't put it out there because people may honestly give opinions that differ from yours.

You're a dear sweet young woman and seem to have high morals and ethics. I think it's great that you stand up for your beliefs.

I hope you will reconsider and not leave.

[silverchick]

oops sorry Laura, you're right http://community.icompact.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif Dang man even I cant say things/word things correctly! http://community.icompact.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif Darn it now I sounded like a bitch! http://community.icompact.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif

[Mz LaLa]

<span class="ev_code_BROWN">I really hope that you don't go either..I enjoy your posts here on this board but if you feel it is time it is not up to us to stop you.

I see where you are coming from. I hate to think that anyone holds back their feelings and words b/c they are afraid others will attack them, but I realize that it happens.

I honestly think this is one of the "nicest" sites I have ever come across on the net. You rarely come across something that isn't nice. Although that is good in a way, it is also a downfall if people aren't really being honest with themselves or others.

I often find myself not replying to things that I'm afraid people will take the wrong way, but I realize that I should be free to say how I feel about a particular situation. If you do it in a constructive way, I don't think people should take offense. That's the thing about the net..like luv2dance said...if you can't take the good with the bad (or your opinion of the good or the bad) don't put it out there for everybody to see.

I am a bit bummed though to hear that people will send their agreements to certain comments through PMs instead of backing a member in public if they agree with them. That is a bit disappointing to hear.

Anyways..Laura..you are loved here and if you need your time away that is understandable...but it would be lovely if you could find a way to keep in touch and let us know the happenings in your life as we will miss you.</span>

[krissy.b]

Just know you'll be missed Laura...we really love to hear from you here! And there's nothing wrong with being honest. I'm not sure if you're talking about me or not, because in the one thread I've seen a little drama in was one in which I didn't happen to agree with you...but then again, I was just posting my honest opinion.

[veronickiki]

Dear Laura, I respect your decision but I just wanted to say that I'll miss you...http://community.icompact.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_frown.gif

I understand how you feel, something similar happened to me this weekend... http://community.icompact.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif

We had a family dinner at my husband's parents house...We were talking about arts (abstract painting in particular, which I love!) and my father in law was telling it was all bullsh*t...I disagreed of course, art is my life!!! So I explained why and gave my honest opinion about it and told him abstact painting was meaning a lot of things for some people, including me...
I wasn't going to tell he was right just because he is my father in law!!!
He was mad at me and the rest of the family was a little too...just because I expressed how I feel about it, like if I wasn't respecting him because of that...I didn't want him to love abstract art, just wanted him to understand why I and others like it...

So if my family in law was a message board http://community.icompact.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_razz.gif, I would sure take a break from it for a while...But I would come back... http://community.icompact.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif http://community.icompact.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

[BabyBlue]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by LipstickChick:
I totally 2nd what Suzette just told you -- I have no idea what happened this weekend to make you want to leave, but please don't, Laura!

I, for one, appreciate honesty, for better or worse, and would hate to see you leave because you feel you need to "censor" your feelings (for lack of a better way of putting it).

Please ... stay. </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

ITA! I always have appreciated your honesty. I'm sorry others take offense to your views, that is frustrating. I think I missed where all this happened. I don't understand why people think we all have to have the same views and opinions on things. I thought we were all mature enough to express our own views without taking things personal and getting upset when someone doesn't agree with us or tells us how they see things.

If you do go, you'll be missed by alot of people here. I do undertsand it though.. it's no fun being in a group that you don't feel you fit into. Take care, and please at least stop by now and then to let us know you are ok.

[MisguidedRoses]

I don't know which posts you're talking about, and I'm sorry you feel like you can't be honest, but one of the things I've always loved about it here is that we can always share our opinions without getting pissed off at each other. I know we've had our share of debates, about controversial topics and politics and whatever else, but even though we don't all agree, I can't remember anyone ever getting bitched at for stating their opinion.

I am sorry that you feel like have to leave, and I wish you'd stay around, but I guess you have to do what you have to do.

[catstyle]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-title">quote:</div><div class="ip-ubbcode-quote-content">Originally posted by Suzette:
Seriously, I will launch into a horribly off key rendition of Please Don't Go Girl by New Kids on the Block.


Do you really want to be responsible for that?? </div></BLOCKQUOTE>

Accompanies Suzette singing equally off-key background vocals.

Seriously, though, I hope that you won't let one or a few people cause you to leave. I have always appreciated your posts and your honesty. I think the vast majority of us do.
There will always be a few ultra-sensitive people on the board, just as there are anywhere in life.

Your posts have made me realize that I should be more honest with people on this board, too. I know I can't make you stay, but I hope you'll reconsider.

If you do leave, I wish you well, and I hope you'll check in with us from time to time. http://community.icompact.com/groupee_common/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

[belladonna74]

Say what you feel, some people will disagree anywhere you go.
Michelle